HOW TO SAVE THE ENVIRONMENT AND DEFEAT THE ULTRA-RIGHT

Psychologists and sexologists have long known that in our society a majority of young white males are conservative right-wingers and also a major market for large over sized cars such as Humvees and SUVs. In other words, they tend to vote, when they bother to vote at all, for the macho right wing candidates of the ultra right and drive gas guzzling, atmosphere polluting cars that increase green house gasses that threaten all life on earth.

How can this large segment of the population be reached and persuaded to abandon its self destructive political behavior (for the right wing politicians do nothing for them except recruit them into the ranks of the unemployed or the military) and its senseless pursuit after bigger and bigger cars and trucks (which financially burden them and leave them in hock to banks and credit card companies.)

The left has to realize that all previous attempts to reach this segment of the population have basically failed unless a major economic depression has taken place. We must become more proactive. We cannot wait for economic collapse or for the preaching of the tenants of Marxism-Leninism to enlighten this strategically important element of the population.

Science offers a solution. Psychologists have established that there is an inverse relation between penis size and the size of an automobile that men typically buy. The same inverse relation also exists between the organ in question and aggressive macho behavior and right wing attitudes.

There is also scientific evidence that when public programs have been established to modify self destructive behavior in individuals, such as free needles being distributed to prevent HIV, and free condoms being given out to prevent sexually transmitted diseases, they have been successful.

Therefore the left must advocate for both public and privately funded programs to provide free penis enhancements to these young destructive white males. Leaflets should be made available at car dealerships and at Republican and other conservative political rallies, public service announcements should be broadcast on Fox TV, the Super Bowl, Nascar events, and on radio talk shows such as Rush Limbaugh’s. Free penis enlargement clinics should also be established even though Christian fundamentalists will protest this program as one that goes against the Will of God in trying to improve on His creation.

Too much is at stake, we have to take this problem in hand for the sake of future generations!